I remember the feeling of not belonging, not fitting in, the feeling that somehow someone changed me at the hospital because I had nothing in common with my family- I remember that pain so well- trying to comfort myself with spiritual ego and superiority- thinking that I was just “more advanced” and “awake” and they weren’t! Separating myself from them so that I wouldn’t “lower my vibration” judging them so much and living Far away from deep acceptance of the family I chose Wishing that I had a father that loved me and blaming him for everything that ever went wrong in my love life Feeling not accepted by my mother and resenting her so deeply. 

-Truth is that I didn’t know how to receive my Family 

I remember the feeling of inadequacy in love after being abandoned by my fiancé 10 days before moving to South Africa, and with 2 failed marriages before- thinking that I would never be able to BE in love and BE LOVED.

-Truth is I didn’t know how to RECEIVE LOVE

 I remember the feeling of failure of going to the pawn shop to give my appliances for food for my children so I could feed them. 

-Truth is: I Didn’t know how to Receive  money 

I remember the feeling of threat any time I saw beautiful women, I remember the feeling of competition and the pain of not knowing how to interact with them, even less being their friend 

I remember my judgment toward women and my righteousness about how they should love their life 

-Truth is: I didn’t know how to receive SISTERHOOD 

I remember the frustration and pain with every Yes that I said when my soul was saying NO, I remember the desperation every time I abandoned myself to please others 

-Truth is: I didn’t know how to RECEIVE PERMISSION FOR BOUNDARIES… 

I remember the despicable feeling toward myself every time I looked in a mirror and saw me and  my body- I remember the nasty feeling I told my reflection and the pain I caused her.

 Truth is: I didn’t know how TO RECEIVE MYSELF 

I remember my anger with life, with things that had happened to me, my resentment towards anyone that didn’t meet my expectations and my rage from the disconnection I felt, the emptiness inside of me and the impulse to want to control everything 

 Truth is: I didn’t know how to RECEIVE GOD 

You see, all of my “problems, pain, despairs, anger, resentment, sadness and frustrations” came from not knowing how to receive something different! 

Once I gave myself PERMISSION TO RECEIVE… my life completely changed.